Many years back, I had an experience that greatly changed the way I looked at romance. It was a summer night, after dinner, and I went to the local gym for a workout, as I often did. As I walked through the door I was met by a crowd of people, which wasn’t such a bad thing. I often enjoyed a packed gym, thinking to myself, a date with most any of the girls in here wouldn’t be such a bad thing. And though that was my mentality walking in the door that night, that mentality was soon to become shattered and irrevocably changed.
As I continued my way into the building’s interior, something caught my eye that I wasn’t prepared for. Ahead, in an elevated room paned in glass,. There is no description that I can convey to you that would suffice what I saw in that moment. Only that she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. To say that I wasn’t prepared to see her could more adequately be stated that I wasn’t prepared for change that the whole world seemed to take. For almost immediately, the whole world seemed to take on a vibrant and mysterious tone. Idealistic purposes I was beforehand blind to came alive and thrust themselves to the forefront of my heart and mind. In that moment, I became convicted and convinced that truly great and magical things did exist in the world to be found, and that I ought to fight for those things and strive to find them.
A sense of timelessness also fell upon the world and the sudden reflections I had about life. I felt as though somehow connected to all of mankind throughout history, that I now faced the same choice as all who came before. Will I be the kind of man who truly strives for great things in life? Or will I settle for the selfish ambitions of a vain and callused heart? It was as though I was suddenly confronted by the timeless questions that all men have had to face down through the ages.
And something else struck me that I found strange. In those quick seconds, I had a strange contempt for notion of happiness and comfort I had ever before been trying to find. Though I didn’t yet know her, my heart had already convinced me that she was someone truly special, someone worth fighting for, and that to know her truly would be a manifold and inexpressible treasure. And because of that feeling, I was convinced that I could have but one response: that I ought to be a better man. In that moment, I felt contempt for my own need for happiness, and instead, was filled with resolve to become the kind of man that a girl like that could truly need, though it cost me my own search for happiness. I felt that to be a better man was more important than to be happy, and that often, the two are mutually exclusive.
And there was something else surprisingly different. Even though she was far more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen before, I found a yearning different than I had ever longed before with a girl; to walk hand in hand along a moonlit beach, to sit beside her on a park bench and watch her stare at the stars – even just to be in the same room with her. There was no desire for sex in that moment, though that in and of itself is an understatement. So obvious was the lack of sexual desire that I realized surprisingly in that moment that even if there was no such thing as sex, still I would desperately want to be near her.
And this desperation to be near her led to feelings of reckless abandon that I had never before experienced. These feelings were surprising in that they drove me to want to walk up to her and tell her plainly of what I thought of her, how special and beautiful I thought she was, or writing her the most beautiful poem the world has ever seen and giving it to her. Though the fear of being labeled a lunatic kept these feelings at bay, still I was surprised at the nature of this reckless abandon. It seemed to be more concerned with esteeming her and building her up than concerned with anything else, pushing my own inhibitions and fears aside in order to encourage and uplift her. This desire struck me powerfully when it hit me. It seemed to be at its core a selfless desire, wanting only to esteem and encourage her, even at my own expense. I had never felt anything like that before.
Never before in my have had I realized that something could affect me so powerfully. For many days to follow, I pondered that striking experience, wondering what type of might I ought to become in response to what I had seen. I’ve penned many more lines about similar romantic notions on my blog, if any are interested in reading more. I just thought I’d share this small snippet with you. I hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think.
Hi, Ben here, Author for www.PlanB-Publishing.com/AuthorsBlog. I love discussing life, love, and strange and interesting romantic notions. If you’ve enjoyed these romantic thoughts, come and check out my blog and my books. Thanks for reading!
Article Source: Romantic Notions — the Romantic’s viewpoint
