As a romantic, I’ve always held idealistic notions about love. As a young man, words like intimacy, solitude, passion, and meaning, were constantly swirling through my head as I pondered life. And as I pondered, I came to realize something very interesting about the similarities of intimacy and solitude. Though at first glance, they seem like opposites, define the two terms in this way: Intimacy — an intense closeness with another. Solitude — and intense closeness with oneself.
During my younger, more formative years, I had the privilege of having extended periods of reflection through solitude. I learned much about myself and life, excelling in the ancient Greek maxim that simply states “Know Thyself.” I came to realize something surprising. The more time I spent alone, pondering life and what kind of man I would become, the more I seemed to grow in genuine relationships and intimacy (platonic) with the people close to me. I realized that the more intimate I am with myself the more I know my passions, my purpose, the more I grow in character the more intimate I will be able to be with others around me.
Real intimacy, even platonic intimacy, takes a great deal of both humility and confidence. Interestingly enough, those were the two things I grew most in from my times spent alone with myself and the Lord. The more I came to understand myself, the more confident I became; and the more I understood life, the more I placed a value on humility, realizing well that I am no better than any other man who has come before me, and that I will only be alive for a short while and then be gone again.
Being a romantic, I have always longed to have deep intimacy with the one whom I’ll one day spend the rest of my life with. What I realized only recently was this: my ability to find intimacy with another person is directly related to how intimate I have been with myself. It’s an odd, ironic truth, but I hope it’s as interesting to you to read as it was for me to discover.
this truth is becoming scarier and scarier. In our modern Age of Communication, where texting and social networks abound, solitude is becoming something of the past. It is not only shunned, it’s becoming despised as outdated and dead. The average person doesn’t value solitude much anymore. I fear that an entire generation will live so completely connected to one another, that only a few among the many will genuinely break free to learn what things solitude has to offer. We can only wait and see.
For more romantic notions and thoughts about solitude and intimacy, check out my blog. Hope you enjoyed this article!
Article Source: Learning Intimacy Through Solitude
