Walk away.
That’s right – this could have been the shortest article ever. However, I suppose I should elaborate.
Men and Women based purely on gender have very different fighting styles. There are exceptions to every rule, but generally the rules are as follows.
* Women fight to be heard and understood. Often, that’s enough. Occasionally, a woman really wants her way.
* Men fight to be right – period. They will go to pretty much any length to prove their point and defeat their opponent, who unfortunately might be you.
Neither of these two approaches is more noble, more worthy, or more appropriate. It is what it is. Different. Here is the rub. With conflicting agendas during a fight, it’s hard to know when it’s over, and it’s nearly impossible to get what think you want or need. There are no winners and in most cases two losers emerge. So, what’s a girl to do when the fight is on? Walk.
I am a firm believer that conflict cannot be resolved in anger. You can’t solve a thing in a fight. The bottom line is the energy isn’t conducive to it – and that’s all it is – energy. If you want to solve a problem, there has to be a clear energetic space for solutions, communication, understanding, and blue skies and sunshine to emerge. Some people may say I’m advocating avoidance. To be honest, I say if avoidance works, do it. Some topics are only hot in the moment and then cool to nothing in the light of a better mood. However, many don’t, and sometimes things need resolving. If that is the case below are my top five tips for stopping a fight.
1. Walk away
2. Clear your head and distract yourself with other things
3. Open yourself to guidance from the Divine for how to work with your partner to solve the problem
4. Meet your partner in an imaginary loving space in a meditation. Surround him with love and talk to him lovingly about the issue at hand
5. When you are feeling calm and open and ready try again – later – like maybe tomorrow or next week or on ground hog day
Start the conversation again by saying something like, “I feel like there were some things from the other day when we were angry that didn’t get resolved. I am hoping we can talk about those things now, if this is a good time for you, so they don’t come up in a fight again.” If you try again and the heat comes up – stop and, you guessed it, walk away. No matter how many times you try to fix a problem angry, it will not fix. Anger is not a creative problem solving energy. It’s kind of like poop on your shoe, you absolutely have to scrape it off before you can get in the car and go anywhere.
Lisa Hayes is an entrepreneur, life coach, mother, and friend. In her
writing, speaking engagements, and classes she teaches, her primary
goal is working with women to help them achieve peace, and even bliss,
in the chaos of their everyday lives. Lisa began the pursuit of the
healing arts more then a decade ago when she completed her degree in
natural health and nutrition. She continued that path as a yoga and
meditation instructor before becoming a life coach.
Article Source: How to Stop a Fight
