Dare to stand for yourself and dare to be different

Adolescence can be a trying period when you have myriad expectations thrust on you. Your parents expect a lot from you, your teachers have high expectations and your friends and siblings too expect the world from you. Suddenly you are forced to take decisions as uncomfortable questions are posed to you: “So what are you planning to do with your life?” or “Why don’t you be a bit more social?” or “Why don’t you study harder?” and even “You’ll soon be married.”

Do you want to shout from the rooftops and tell the whole world to leave you alone? Are you letting the expectations get under your skin and irritate and frustrate you? Or are you just bottling up all your emotions and hiding in that cocoon? There’s no need to let the expectations get to you.

Here’s how:
1.Define the sources
The first thing that you need to do is define the different sources of expectations. This means understanding who all are exerting pressure on you. You might be feeling a bit confused if there are too many people involved. Your mother has some plans for you and your father could have some other. You, on the other hand, want to pursue a career in fashion designing whereas all your friends are preparing for medical. But your elder sister might think that an MBA is the right thing to do. So what do you do?
2.Understand their views
Once you have identified the different people you need to understand their points of view. Your mother might repeatedly be telling you to be more selective of your friends, when what is really scaring her is the guy you brought home last Wednesday. In such a case it would really help if you are able to understand her fear and explain that he is just a friend.
3.Believe in yourself It is very important that you believe in yourself. Don’t surrender yourself to the don’ts of your life. I don’t have enough savings I don’t think I can do it I don’t think mom will like it I don’t think it will work out don’t think he is interested in me
The challenge before you is to combat these don’ts and make them doable. Remember if you think you can, you will but if you think you can’t then you will never be able to. You are at that stage where emotions will be very dominant in your decisions. Learn to rise over them and think rationally.

4.Stick to your decisions

Remember you can face any pressure from anyone if you have the guts to stick to your decisions. People might tell you that it would be better if you simply did your graduation and then got married, but the final decision is yours. If you decide that you are going to be something and someone then nothing can stop you. But if you want to get married and settle down then do just that. Dare to stand for yourself and dare to be different!
5.Learn to be diplomatic and humble
Inculcate the habits of diplomacy and humility as they are very essential if you want to deal with problems in a peaceful manner. Adolescents tend to be short-tempered and blunt and often think they are grown up enough to make their own decisions. But you should also keep in mind what your parents are saying. Be a little approachable, a bit more soft-spoken and understanding and you sure can get all that you want.
6.Strike a balance
It is very important for you to strike a balance between your studies and other activities. Many a times your parent’s expectations are an extension of what they wanted to do in their youth but could not due to various reasons. Is your mother always after your life to study, study and study? May be she did not have an opportunity to pick up a career and doesn’t want you to make the same mistake. So how about rearranging your life in such a way that you strike a balance between what you like to do and what your parents want you to do?
7. Learn to say NO
You might sometimes do things not because you want to but because you get pushed into doing them. Do you regret bunking college just because your friends felt like it, lying about that extra class at home because your boyfriend wanted to go for a movie, or dressing the way your friends are so that you don’t appear too modest even if the short skirt makes you feel very uncomfortable? Don’t get forced into doing anything that you will regret. Have conviction in your beliefs, make rules for yourself and then practice them! And next time you need to say NO say it loud and clear.

8.Control your emotions

Are you always at the receiving end and hear comments like: -Why do you have to cry at the smallest pretext? -Can’t you show a bit of concern? -Do you have to get so hyper? -Can’t you at least smile in front of the guests? -Don’t be so harsh

Many times you will be picked on for a lack of or an excess of your emotions. Don’t worry too much about them. The hormonal changes in your body are partly responsible for this. Try to strike a rapport with your environment and give yourself some time and space. You will soon notice that you are so much more in command of yourself and thus much happier

Remember that people expect things from you because they know that you can do it. Doesn’t that make you feel happy? After reading these tips you will find it easier to deal with the expectations and pressures that are put on you. So are you ready to face the world as a new you?

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Article Source: Dare to stand for yourself and dare to be different

Should Consider For Your Meditation Room

Meditation is one of the great skills everybody should learn as it helps you in developing a more effective mind and to help keep you at a state of calm. If you are serious about meditation having a room dedicated to the practice does one of two things. The room will after periods of time bring about a sense of calm as soon as you walk into the room because of the association between the room and peace. The meditation room will also encourage you and remind you to stick with the practice. All too often people start out on the meditation journey only to abandon the practice a few months in because they are feeling great.

The downside to this is that if you do not continue practicing your meditation you will never master the art and more so each time you restart the meditation practice it will take you a while to get back into the swing of the art. Meditation is something that needs to be practiced every single day.

When you are setting up a meditation room there are seven things you need to consider to make your room a little special.

Item #1 – Cushions

For most people the optimum place to sit and meditate is on the floor. However since most houses have incredibly hard floors it is always a good idea to have a number of meditation cushions on the floor. Meditation cushions are not anything special they should simply be cushions with enough padding to soften the impact of sitting on the floor for any period of time.

It is always worthwhile having a number of cushions in your room so that if you consider having a group meditation session in your meditation room that you all have at least one cushion each. There is nothing worse than fifteen minutes into a meditation session only to find your bottom has gone to sleep and you feel extremely uncomfortable.

Item #2 – Incense

Incense is a great device to help you relax during a meditation session. You can purchase incense from any quality Asian or Middle Eastern supermarket. Make sure that before you buy a box of any incense that you try out one stick first. Ask the supermarket attendant if you can because in most Asian or Middle Eastern supermarkets they will have samples for you to try.

I have found that lavender is a great incense to use when first starting out, but everybody will have their own preferences.

Item #3 – A Small Prayer Table

I am a great believer in setting your room up similar to those from countries like Japan, Thailand or India. A prayer table allows you to place your incense and other important artefacts for your meditation on the prayer table. Some people use the prayer table to have images of God or Buddha to help in their meditation. If you are not a religious person I simply recommend putting a photo of your family on your prayer table with small incense holders on both the left and right hand side of the prayer table.

The reason I recommend this is that the photos will remind you why you are meditating. Meditation is all about helping you to improve your state of mind.

Item #4 – A CD Player

A CD player is a great tool to have in your meditation room. Using mediation music like Baroque Meditation music will help you be more effective with your meditation. Many people find when they are starting out with meditation that it is hard to get to that state of calm without using meditation music as the music can influence your feelings.

You will find though as you become more experienced in meditation that you will be able to meditate without music but meditation music is essential when you are first starting out.

Item #5 – Seven Candles

Most people in their houses today have harsh lighting in their rooms like incandescent or fluro lights. Often these lights can be very difficult to meditate under even with your eyes closed. My recommendation has always been to meditate under the glow of seven candles. The candles should be located on your prayer table at varying heights.

You will find that the soft glow of an open flame will on its own bring about a sense of calm and make your meditation session a lot more special. I recommend seven candles simply because the number seven is auspicious in my society and religion. Seven being a perfect number helps ensure during my meditation sessions that my session will in fact be perfect.

One safety point I would like to make, please ensure that you put your candles onto trays so that they will not burn your prayer table or start a fire. Candles in a house can be very dangerous so make sure that after your meditation session is over that you blow them out.

Item #6 – Peaceful Pictures and Photos

I have already stated it is important to have on your prayer table a picture of your family to remind you why you are meditating. I also recommend having other peaceful pictures in your room to ensure that when you enter your meditation room that you have a sense of peace and tranquillity.

The types of pictures that are suitable are those of nature or animals like scenes from a rainforest, a flowing brook or even pictures of a calm ocean.

Item #7 – A Vase of Flowers

The last item I recommend that you have in your meditation room is a vase of fresh flowers. There is nothing more relaxing and calming than to smell the perfume of freshly cut flowers. Often you will find that the smell of both the incense and freshly cut flowers will give off a unique fragrance that will help entice your mind into a sense of calm.

If you cannot afford to buy your flowers, why not grow them in your garden. You will be surprised just how easy it is to put some seeds into a pot and grow a bunch of flowers. Note that you do need to water those flowers.

Meditation is an important skill you need to master and having a special meditation room will help remind you and encourage you to practice this art. Just like sport, many people start off with the best of intentions but give up. Having a meditation room will certainly help you stay on track.

To finish off, these are the seven items I suggest that every serious meditator should consider having in their meditation room:

- Item #1 Cushions
- Item #2 Incense
- Item #3 A Small Prayer Table
- Item #4 A CD player
- Item #5 Seven Candles
- Item #6 Peaceful Pictures and Photos
- Item #7 A Vase of Flowers

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Article Source: Should Consider For Your Meditation Room

The Benefits of Music Therapy Using Binaural Beats

Music therapy or binaural beats have been around for a long time, over 170 years. These beats use two different frequencies, one in each ear that helps stimulate the brain to help you relax. The beats are set into soft relaxing music often with sounds of nature such as birds chirping or waterfalls ect.

The benefits from the different frequencies, and the positive effects it has on the mind and body is good. There are four different frequency waves that are used in music therapy, and they are, Delta, Theta, Alpha, and Beta, and each one has it’s own benefit.

Delta waves which is 1-3 Hz, and the benefits are, if you are having trouble sleeping, it is also good for lucid dreaming, which can help you if you have constant nightmares, and it also helps increase immune functions.
Theta waves which is 4-7 Hz, and the benefits are, it’s good for deep relaxation or meditation, hypnosis, also to increase memory, and to help you focus better.
Alpha waves which is 8-13 Hz, and the benefits are, that it will help you with light relaxation (while awake), also helps with learning, and positive thinking.
Beta waves which is 13-25 Hz, and the benefits are, that it will help with normal state of alertness, busy or anxious thinking, active concentration, and relieves stress, and anxiety.

The biggest benefit is that you don’t have to go to a therapist to get this treatment, you can do it in the comfort of your own home. So many people have never heard of music therapy, or sound therapy, because of the fact that you had to go see a doctor, and get referred to a therapist who deals with these kinds of problems. Like always doctors don’t want people to know about these kinds of treatments that you can do at home, because they will lose money. You know how it works, they want you to see a therapist that they recommend so they get a commission, then once you see a therapist they want you to go and see them two or three times a week for a month, this can be very expensive, and inconvenient.

In conclusion, there is no reason that you can’t do this in the comfort of your own home. When you see a therapist they put you in a room by yourself with headphones and they make you listen to the music for a certain amount of time, and that’s it, and make you go back several more times. You can do the same thing at home, find a quiet place and put on some headphones, and just relax and listen to the music, and save yourself some money, it’s the same thing! If you would like more information on music therapy or binaural beats see link bellow.

If you have any questions on Binaural beats, or how to relieve stress and anxiety, I have a site that may be just what your looking for. The site has a free 10 minute sample of music to help you relax, so try it for yourself download it to your computer or mp3. Please visit:click here!

Thank you, Daniel Richard

Article Source: The Benefits of Music Therapy Using Binaural Beats

Stress Management Action Plan the Four Things You Can Learn in Order to Control Your Stress

Some years ago I was faced with some very challenging financial situations. The extent of my challenge was such that I was incapacitated with stress. For those of you in this state you will know what I mean. I had the constant tightening of the stomach that very frequently turned to churning in response to many simple events that occurred in my day to day life. This was exasperated by my inability to breathe properly which in turn made me feel worse and resulted in me experiencing hot sweats.

Sleeping became a literal nightmare. What little sleep I did managed to get was laden with dreams brought on by the feeling of impending doom. Of course, little and disturbed sleep causes tiredness during the day and resulted in my under performing in any thing I tried to do. Sometimes I was so low I thought it is all not worth the effort. As things got worse, and compounded, I began to physically shake at times and my body felt like it had become weighted down.

At this point things got even worse when my relationship with my girlfriend was badly affected by all the stress and we agreed to part. I took on all the debts and I began to think everything was really too much. I thought I was in so deep that I would never be able to get out of it both financially and emotionally.

Then I had a lucky break. Someone introduced me to the world of self improvement. Before all of this I always deemed myself as more of a positive thinker than a negative one, so I took to the self improvement ideas pretty quickly. I sought out different materials on the subjects and read in the order that I felt would be most beneficial to me. Below are the four major things I needed to learn to overcome my stress and start getting things done.

The first thing I had to learn was to live life in day tight compartments. In short, the only thing that matters at any point in time is NOW. There is no point worrying about what has happened in the past. It is gone and there is nothing you can do about it. There is no point in worrying about the future, it is not here yet and I realised that 80% of the things in the future we worry about never comes to pass. So the lesson to learn is live life now and cut out the worrying about the past and the future.

The second thing I learned was to look at the worst possible situation. My worst possible situation was that I go bankrupt. I used to look at this as being a terrible thing but I realised that even if I did go bankrupt I would still survive, eat, drink and have a roof over my head in one way or another. I would still have my mind which can be used to create things in the future. So it was important for me to realise that the worst possible situation was not that bad really.

The third thing I learned was that I had to gain control of my own thinking. I realised that I was constantly talking to myself in a negative fashion and I needed to get a grip on my thinking in order to improve my situation. I realised that my negative thinking was giving me instructions to fail and it was my responsibility to change this. I started to monitor exactly what I was thinking and when I caught myself thinking negatively I was pre prepared to substitute this thinking with positive thoughts. I learned that the thoughts that I gave out actually seemed to attract corresponding situations. By thinking positively it seemed to automatically attract positive things into my life.

The fourth thing I learned was that I had to work out a step by step plan to get to where I wanted to be. This requires identifying a challenging goal and putting in place each step that is required to achieve that goal. By doing this you are constantly putting your efforts in the right place at all times. The most important thing here is to set a meaningful goal that is set in stone, whilst always remembering that plans never go according to plan. Therefore, you must be constantly monitoring your plan.

The above four realisations have meant that I was able to turn around my situation very quickly. I was very receptive to learning as my situation at the time felt terrible and I was sick and tired of being in my position. So it was imperative to become receptive to new ideas and knowledge as this will affect the pace at which you learn. Within days I was able to completely remove the stomach churning, the hot sweats, the restless sleep and the tiredness by applying the points made above. After training my mind to think correctly, I was able to sit down calmly and apply my energies to a step by step plan in a direction I believed would gradually pull myself out of my challenging situations.

I know it works from experience. I have been there and conquered it. I know that anyone who really wants to achieve anything must apply the principles outlined above. So if you want to get out of the rut you will have to become receptive to learning, start to control your mind in terms of worry, and of your thinking, and put in place a plan of action designed to get you where you want to be. Most importantly, I know you can do it if you want to.

Neville Park has put together a complementary report on how to be happy and successful in life and a video that shows you how to create and maintain positive thought patterns immediately.

As well as the report and video, you will receive a mini three day course to help eliminate stress, boost your confidence, overcome anxiety and much more. In order to gain access to the report, video and mini course, simply visit the web site link below and start to accomplish a better life today for you!

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Article Source: Stress Management Action Plan the Four Things You Can Learn in Order to Control Your Stress

Clear Clutter to Reduce Risk of Fire in Your Home

One Saturday morning at 8:30 a.m. I was looking out my kitchen window watching a fireman dressed who was dressed in his blue uniform carrying what looked like a heavy back pack on his back walking up the steep street in front of our home. I wondered where he was going and why he would be in uniform on a Saturday morning. It was already a hot 80 degrees heading up to 98 degrees in the afternoon.

About 4:00 p.m. in the afternoon that same fireman was at our front door. He and his fellow firemen were delivering smoke alarms to the homes in our city of about 45,000. The mayor had received a grant for the alarms and they were going door to door delivering them and impressing us with the importance of properly using them.

He inspected the alarms I already had and then he gave me two new ones to use instead of the ones I had. He also advised me that I needed to move them to a different wall and explained why. All of this personalized attention really left an impression on me as to the importance of fire safety and the use of smoke alarms.

As a professional organizer I am always in homes clearing the clutter people have accumulated in bedrooms, kitchens, offices, garages and other rooms in their homes. Just as smoke alarms can save lives so can organizing clutter so it isn’t blocking escape routes or creating fire hazards.

The elderly and children are most at risk in case of a fire. The elderly are at risk because of their reaction time. This makes it especially important to make sure there is no clutter that could impede their ability to move about freely when evacuating their home in case of a fire.

Children are at risk because they can’t help themselves and may not know how to respond. It is important to create an escape plan for family members in case of a fire. In public buildings posted next to elevators and in various rooms are escape routes in case of fires.

Along with having a plan and having it posted in the home practice the plan from every room in the home. Once a month have a fire drill with the “fire” starting in a different area of the home so if a fire does break out your family will be familiar with how to get out of the house safely.

A fire can travel 19 feet per second! Family members need to know the most important thing they can do is get out and not go back in to a burning house. Have a meeting place away from the house for a head count; it could be at the mail box, a tree across the street, or a neighbor’s driveway.

Stay together away from the fire. Make certain that no one goes back inside the burning building. After you evacuate call 911.

The top 8 areas where fires start in homes are:

1. The kitchen. If there is a grease fire and you can turn off the stove and cover the pan with a lid. This should extinguish the fire. If you plan on using baking soda to put out a fire store the soda away from the stove so you can safely reach it. Flour is flammable.

2. Around the furnace. This is a place where clutter can collect. Do not store things around the furnace.

3. The laundry room. Clean the lint out of the dryer tube and behind the dryer. Keep the lint catcher free of lint.

4. Living room. Places fires can start are from faulty lamps or extension cords. When using an extension cord make sure the cord is as thick as the cord you are plugging it into. Don’t use small gauge extension cords or place any cord where it could be stepped on. When using surge protectors only use half of the plugs available.

5. Bedrooms. Because of the appliances such as lamps, radios etc. used in these rooms. Also people who smoke in bed increase the risk of fire.

6. The garage. There are so many flammable things here don’t every try to put the fire out—just get out and call 911.

7. The attic. This can be a problem because of the accumulation of clutter.

8. The bathroom. Because of candles, hair dryers and other electrical appliances used in this room.

Every 20 seconds a fire department responds to a fire somewhere in the nation. If a fire breaks out we typically have 3 to 4 minutes to get out. Be prepared to be safe by preparing and thinking ahead.

Marilyn is a professional organizer who works with women and seniors in clearing clutter and providing organizing tips. Visit her website http://www.marilynbohn.com for free organizing tips on her blogs, articles and videos.

Article Source: Clear Clutter to Reduce Risk of Fire in Your Home

Massage Therapy and Holiday Stress

All too often the joys of the holiday season are lost to the stress that they can often bring to the body and spirit. Sometimes shopping for the perfect gift can get overwhelming. Other times it may be the over indulgence of food and alcohol. For others, it can be knowing that the holiday isn’t going to be spent with loved ones. No matter what the reason, trivial or serious, sometimes the holidays lose that magical feeling.

How can you handle the stress? First, recognize that stress is causing a problem for you. Second, identify what is causing the stress in your life. Once your factors are understood, it will be easier to develop a plan for coping with stress in a healthier way.

If stress is completely overwhelming you, professional assistance may be necessary to break the cycle. For most of us, a few simple changes in our lives can make a world of difference with dealing with stress.

Professional massage therapy is one way to deal with stress in a positive way. Massage therapy activates the nervous system and provides deep rest and relaxation. Because it induces this feeling, it strengthens the immune system and can improve overall health.

If you have never had a massage before, don’t be stressed about the session. Talk with friends, family or coworkers to get a referral for someone in your area. Call the therapist and ask what their rate is, if you will go to their office or if they will come to you, what types of massage they offer, or any other question you would like to have answered. Don’t be embarrassed! The therapist wants the session to be perfect for you. Generally, you can even discuss the type of music you would like to hear!

During your session, typically you will asked to undress to your comfort level. Again, please do not let this deter you from enjoying the benefits of massage. Some clients do not undress at all, while others undress fully. In either case, you will be draped with a sheet or towel at all times and your privacy will be completely respected. Typically, the session will last for an hour. Your therapist will check in with you often. It is important to the therapist that you are comfortable in every way. Your only job during the session is to relax and enjoy the relief from stress.

After your session you will be asked to relax for a few moments. The therapist will leave the room to give you some privacy to dress and collect your thoughts. Some therapists will offer you a beverage or small snack, others will simply remind you to drink plenty of water that day. Regardless, you will leave feeling wonderful.

Jayne Thomas, LMT,
Massage Promotions,
www.massagepromos.com

Jayne Thomas has been assisting massage therapists with their businesses since 2001, by providing them with marketing materials and free consultations that help build client numbers.

Article Source: Massage Therapy and Holiday Stress

7 Ways to Reduce Pressure in Your Home

Does this picture describe your joyful home? your baby is crying while you quickly put the fast food on your table, the pet dog is throwing up on the floor, your hubby’s got your television on full-blast, and your teen son just angrily banged the door on his way out.
Unluckily, it’s a typical incident for lots of us. Though {the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, there are things you could do to reduce this stress and establish a more harmonious atmosphere so that you and your family could look forward to coming home!

Though some point of stress is intrinsic while you deal with the varying phases of the family members, if you try to maintain a basic set of values and go with the flow, you can uphold a happy and healthy home.

Here are selected definite ways you could lessen the pressure at home:

1. Get organized. Life could quickly turn into disordered when you don’t keep up organization. An organized home runs smoothly, while an unorganized home directs to stress and lost time.

• A nice tip is to start small with your organization efforts. Begin with one room or even a part of a room. The suggestion is to think of it like a series of small projects instead of one devastatingly huge one.

2. Communicate. Your family will surely benefit from actively working on communication skills. Whenever you don’t succeed to speak to your family effectively, you could not get what you intend and can even cause displeasing misunderstandings. Working on communication will let all family members to feel loved and valued and help out your household run well.

3. Eat dinner together. Each person in your family probably has a busy life of their own. It is easy to suddenly realize that you have no idea what is going on with your spouse or kid. When you make it a point to eat dinner at the same time every night, you make a moment to be attach with your family. You will learn how to work as one even with busy lifestyles.

4. Have fun with your family. It’s significant to arrange a moment to have fun together as a family, even if these times could’t be as frequently as you’d like. Arrange family nights in advance and allow each family member a chance to decide on that activity.

5. Show unconditional love. Make sure to practice your art of unconditional love with your family. This leads to secure attachments and will ultimately keep each person in your family joyful and pressure-free.

• Children and parents alike should know that, when they do wrong things, they have a loving family that will support them and forgive them.

6. Give support. Go out of your way for your family members. It might not be a perfect Saturday night to go to your kid’s art show, but just think of how they will feel when they see that they have your support and love. Actively express your support by truly being there for your family – no matter what. Just thinking about how much you love them isn’t enough!

7. Family rules. Having a set of family rules would help with organization and allow everyone to know what’s expected of them.

• Schedule a family meeting to establish the house rules. Make sure everyone has a chance to participate and share his or her concerns. You’ll likely find a compromise that allows everyone to be joyful.

A cheery and pressure free home is one built on love. do not be too hard on yourself and others, and you’ll have the basis for creating an excellent home life.

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Article Source: 7 Ways to Reduce Pressure in Your Home

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