The four critical ways fall under the heading of communication problems with your partner. Communication skills aren’t just about learning how to talk to people; namely, your partner. Communication skills are about learning what people are saying when they aren’t saying anything! It’s their body language.
Communication problems between couples can destroy the relationship while others who develop the skills necessary to communicate “the right way” will strengthen not only their relationship but the love they have for each other. Problems arise when one partner tries to make the other partner change – for their own good! YOU CANNOT MAKE OTHERS CHANGE! You can only change yourself!
Now, here’s where it gets really interesting. When you change yourself, the people around you will change as a result of your new behavior. Well, that’s interesting, isn’t it? So, how much new behavior and new communication skills can affect others, either for good or bad? Ok, what does this mean? What it means is you need to learn how to communicate and once you learn, you need to use those skills in crisis situations as well as normal everyday conversation. As stated above, body language is an important part in communicating with your partner.
Briefly, here are the four critical non-verbal areas you need to learn about and recognize in your partner and in your own behavior in order to keep your relationship strong and healthy:
These are general assumptions about how people act. Do more and deeper research if you are really interested in knowing the psychology of their actions.
If you’re trying to explain how you feel, or defend yourself against an accusation, then you need to know if you are getting through to the other person. Are they really listening to you what you’re saying? Are they giving you a chance to explain?
Here are some actions to watch out for when you want to know if someone is listening:
1. If they maintain eye contact with you more than 60% of the time, they’re listening to what you have to say. If they aren’t, change the way you are presenting the information. Don’t make a big production out of it. If you’re loud, tone it down some, if you’re “whiney” rub a little confidence into what you’re saying (don’t go overboard, you’ll scare the other person). And, when I say “maintain eye contact with the other person 60% of the time” – I don’t mean “stare” at them – that’s really creepy! Just act normal.
2. Think of how you react when you’re listening to a friend talk about whatever interests you. Most of the time your head is inclined forward slightly and you’re nodding in agreement at whatever they’re saying. You have to be really listening to be in this mode.
3. Subtly, check out their feet. They should be pointing towards you if you’re holding their attention and they’re listening to what you have to say. If they’re not, start making some small changes in what you’re saying until you notice they are listening to you again.
4. Look for the dreaded “oblong” smile. An oblong smile is not a genuine smile. It’s that same smile YOU give people when they tell a stupid joke they think is really funny and you laugh because you’re trying to be nice. It may show courtesy, but it usually doesn’t show happiness or friendliness. What does it look like? The lips are withheld completely back from the upper and lower teeth, forming the oblong shape. If you don’t quite understand what that means, go to a mirror and check out how you laugh when someone tells a lame joke.
Strangely enough, most of our communication is done with body language. If you misinterpret these signs from your partner, there may be problems ahead since jumping to wrong conclusions usually brings on ugly, loud, accusing fights! Nasty fights, as almost everyone knows, can end the relationship. There is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship. There are only individuals within that relationship who work very hard at making it work on an everyday basis.
The question you need to ask yourself is, “How hard do you want to work to save your relationship”?
Treesa has been writing articles online for the past several years. Not only does this author specialize in relationship and dating information, you can also check out her latest website at Charms For Bracelets which provides information on Italian charm bracelet charms for a unique charm bracelet.
Article Source: 4 Critical Ways To Tell If Someone Really Cares About What You’re Saying?
